AND SO WE RELY....

Being in what feels like a distant land in the middle of the midwest for almost a year now has afforded us many moments of self reflection. While I have been able to invest a significant amount of energy in learning a new job, (this has been a blessing of the protracted separation), we have also had many ponderous moments laboring to understand the perplexity of our remote relationship and the wisdom of the Lord in our behalf. We have stepped into the darkness of this chapter of our life and have, as a family, partially moved to Missouri. Though in seeming reverse order, Kiely is here in Missouri now going to school and reshaping her future, rooming with me here in Rolla. Devery is enrolled in a graduate school program at Missouri State University two hours to the south. We, the three Missourian Larsen’s, (sounds like the title of a bad B movie) usually meet here in Rolla every two or three weeks. This time and these mini regional reunions are punctuated by daily and nightly conversations with Denise and the Colorado (Jantzen & Jorin) family (thanks Verizon) and regular connections with those who we lovingly refer to as haleyjon&gannon (pronounced rapidly). Denise and the Colorado kids remain in Grand Junction carrying on with home school and the constant pressure of life while trying to sell a residence. The marvels of today’s communication options have helped to ease the effects of the separation. Our plan is still that we will sell or rent our Grand Junction residence so that we can relocate together in Missouri. This has proven to be a longer process than either of us had anticipated, complicated by uncertain national and regional economic conditions. We have seen the hand of a loving Father in our lives in the past and have been able to retrospectively recount the wisdom of His actions. In this situation, the enlightenment has seemed more distant and the yearning much more acute. The nights on our knees and our own spiritual white knuckles have certainly intensified as we find ourselves in the middle of a test. We question and yearn to reconcile the alignment of our own desires versus the as yet unknown plans of a loving Father. While His remodeling of our lives will ultimately be worth the wait, we desire to satisfy our impatient curiosity and see a copy of the blueprints of what we will become. Short of this, we press forward and have faith. We have faith in the Lord, faith in each other and our children and faith in the outcome of this test. Together in faith, cell phones in hand, we go forward and……..rely.

SMILE!

It is not that it was especially fun. I can’t really put my finger on it. We have done the same things, and even more before, with less of the effect. Much of our time was spent taking care of challenges and problems with one thing or another. Yes, I am sure that the previous prolonged absence had something to do with it. But, I have been walking around for the last few days in the illumination of that wonderfully peaceful and loving experience. Three days. Not even three full days. Three days of peace and happiness. Three days of just the basics, getting the car fixed, moving furniture, helping Devery get settled. These three days just sort of snuck up on me. Denise decided to come to Missouri to help Devery make the transition to a new university experience. And in the process I was the benefactor of her presence. There was peace, there was togetherness and closeness. We had a little din din, we watched a movie, we snuggled on the couch and we did some very nice and casual things, but nothing significantly out of the ordinary. I dropped her off at the airport this morning very early. We said our goodbyes and both went our separate ways and, yet every time I think about it……………the house still needs to be sold, she is still 16 hours and a time zone away, each of our individual situations still have their own set of challenges……….I don’t know what it is or how to explain it…………..the time we spent together this weekend…………just makes me…………….. smile.

Discipline

So where does it come from, discipline? Are we born with it? Does it ebb and flow? How do we obtain it? Discipline! I can’t buy it. But if I could I would go right out and purchase some because it because it has such a great value. With it I can accomplish almost anything. I can go to the moon. I can bake a loaf of bread. I can persist and chip away at tasks that are so large and intimidating that most would never even try. With it, tasks are whittled away to something manageable and doable. It is the coming back, the patience, the persistence, the belief in the process and the organization of mental capacity in the attainment of a worthwhile goal. Not all at once. Not in one night, not in three days, but over years. This is true discipline.






Devery has just graduated from college. With perfect grades. As the valedictorian of her college. She did it all herself. She saw the task and believed in the process and set out to accomplish it and accomplish it well, and she showed true discipline in the process. By the time it was all over, she had patiently and persistently worked her way through a bachelor’s degree and in so doing had done it nearly perfectly. You did a great job, Devery. We are very proud of you. Thanks for teaching us in the process how having a little discipline (well probably a lot of discipline) can make the significant task manageable. The daunting, attainable; the practically out of reach, reachable-- all by coming back every day and giving it your very best, and sticking to it all the way to the rugged end. CONGRATULATIONS!

OUR LIFE, BY THE NUMBERS....

Since working for a Technological Research University I have learned to collect numbers on a variety of things. Why not some data about our time apart as a couple?!

So then, our separation………. by the numbers.

Thousands- Missed moments, and thoughts of you

12,000- Miles traveling to see each other

600- Phone calls

500- Gallons of gas expended trying to be near

400- Meals alone

190- Days since leaving

175- Nights going to sleep without you

165- Cellular family prayers

27- Sabbaths

14- Laundry days

6- Beautiful children

2-Blessed additions - Jon and Gannon

1- Wonderful companion

Married to a Super Hero………………

Whose idea was this anyway? Is this some kind of weird joke? Is it like child birth? You know, that you forget how painful and exhausting it was? Here I am, 16 hours away from Denise and the kids. Yes, it is true I am working a full time job. Yes, I am putting in a ton of hours trying to learn the new job…it seems very apparent however, that I have it way too easy doing what I am doing.
Let’s think about it…she has a nearly full time job doing home school, then she takes extra care of the house, not only does it need to be picked up, but it seems like it has to be spotless to be shown to potential buyers. It’s like being required to keep it clean “times two” just to make a perfect impression. As if the initial level of cleaning isn’t difficult enough...
Then there are two very active children. Girl Scouts, boy scouts, Girls on the Run, church, friends, state educational testing, home schooling (how do you ever feel you have taught and worked with them enough there?) activities, did I mention friends? Let’s see, bicycles, the doctor, the dentist, blades, walks and swimming. Read books to them, read the scriptures, knit things for them, she felts, she quilts, she cooks, and she is learning to be a vegetarian. This is only a partial list.
She is a construction foreman, accountant, she keeps the cars running, laundry, legal issues, neighbors, fixing appliances, yard work, tumble weeds, gardening to make the place look more saleable. Oh, yes, and things do break around the house. Don’t forget about visiting teaching, church service. The door knob came off, the computer doesn’t always work, and the bills need to be paid, more doctor, taxes, the flu, allergies, and foot surgery. How does she ever do it?
I have only scratched the surface. There is a lot more that I haven’t noted and on top of it, she takes care of things for me. I am frequently a dork when it comes to being a supportive and understanding companion. The amazing thing is that she figures it all out by herself and just moves forward with a great attitude. We have three other children who have a bunch of needs that they still need a parents counseling to help them with (and this is normal), but it still needs to be done, and Denise does the bulk of it.
It is amazing to me the organization, the persistence, the focus, the intelligence, the physical strength and sheer will that Denise has. She is able to do all that she does, with a good attitude and shows nothing but love to the children. To say that my life is in a constant state of blessing is the understatement of the decade. I love you Wonder Woman, I mean, Denise.

REMOVED

One small vehicle over a windy mid-western prairie,

two long naps,

three tanks of gas, bathroom breaks and three very wide states,

5-10 phone calls,

many ponderous moments and silent prayers,

lots of road food,

16 hours,

countless small towns,

tons of billboards

…….I can almost touch it……………….

I am currently in the “middle of everywhere” and yet, without those I love the most, Denise and the children

- - - I feel removed.

We have been blessed as a family. We are able to talk multiple times a day, we have a very good job working for quality people, we enjoy comforts and guidance from on high.

Our children move forward and our goals are intact, and yet at times we hesitate to walk into the darkness of life, even with recent memory of oft illuminations.

Though apart we depend on each other, yearn for each other, help each other (as circumstance permits), rejoice in each other and we are very anxious to live with each other.

We are grateful for family and for a “FATHER'S” wisdom, and while not always immediately understood…………we persist in faith and in the growth that comes while we walk, listening for whisperings of what it means to be - -

removed.

Blogging

Rance - Blog. Its a funny word. Born of a new generation of communicators. Lightning speed. Almost as it were at the speed of thought. Unbelievable access to thoughts and feelings that used to be deeply personal. To blog. To post. To follow. To publish. To express. To reveal in a public way a persons thoughts. Like writing on a cyber billboard. Like putting out a sign post on the main street of our small town that reads "Larsen Thoughts" simply inquire within. Do we, will we, reveal who we are or who we want to be or who we want to be perceived as being? That is then the secret.......what does it really mean to blog. I suspect it means different things to everyone who does it...........everyone who blogs. Welcome to our blog. Welcome to insight into our lives as a family. Welcome to a look and sample of who we as a family profess to be and who we are trying to be. It will be for us a place to keep in touch with some of our comings and goings and postings and feelings and thoughts about those things that make us who we are. Welcome.